Balancing Hometown Besties, College Friends And Everything In Between

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Texas chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

We can all say that we have firsthand experienced changes throughout friendships- some drastic, some small. Friends come and go, but how do you keep the friends you value most when the world is spinning and y’all aren’t on the same path? How do you keep in touch with your hometown bestie when you’re so busy meeting new people? Or not go crazy living with your roommate that doesn’t know how to throw her trash away? Navigating life in this new chapter can be tricky, but it is important to maintain those who care about you most while finding more people to build relationships with. Preserving healthy friendships can make or break your lifestyle, but really, it’s all about the memories made along the way.

Making New Besties

Making college friends doesn’t have to mean replacing your old ones; it’s all about finding people who fit the version of you that’s becoming. Who doesn’t want to have more friends anyway? Of course, it is important to hold those you trust close to you, but it’s just as important to find new trustworthy people and make new connections! Walking into the huge lecture hall of 450 students is overwhelming at first, but one day, the girl you sat next to could be your coffee study date! You can even make friends in your dorm! My roommate and I put a whiteboard on our door, wrote “Knock for a kiwi,” and now the girls who knocked for a kiwi are the girls we hang out with every day.”

Although I am still learning and adapting, here are a couple tips I would say that are helpful in branching out during college:

• Saying yes! Go to club info sessions, dorm events, theater nights- you never know who you will meet!
• Literally keep your dorm door open! Best. Recommendation. Ever! I have met some of my best college friends from doing this!
• Compliment someone! The easiest way to make someone smile and a good conversation starter!
• Mix friend groups! Have friends already? Introduce your new friends to each other and make your circle bigger!
• Be patient! Building friendships takes time, long-lasting friendships don’t come overnight!

Your Roomie Can = Your Built-in-Bestie

While college friends help you branch out, the person you live with can shape your lifestyle. A relationship with your roommate can either be messy or become the closest friendship you never knew you needed. In my circumstance, my roommate is one of my good friends from home. It has been so refreshing to have someone who can make me feel a little less homesick. A lot of people have mixed emotions about living with someone you already know, but IMO, I love that I know my roommate! I knew going into rooming with her that I would always come home from a good or bad day to a happy smile. It has also made it easier to make double the friends by introducing each other to our friends! Do we butt heads sometimes? Of course. But for those of you in the same boat, the bond is worth preserving; protect the friendship!

Here are a couple of things we do to thrive in our roomie friendship and maintain a healthy one:

• Communicate early! Don’t be passive and address things that bug you early on!
• Find little rituals to do together! Whether that means studying together, watching a show together, or trying a new activity every other week, prioritize enjoying time together!
• Set boundaries! Make sure y’all agree on when to clean, have guests over, or when to give each other space for personal time!
• Always remember- friendship is SUPER important! Put in the effort to make each other happy!

Friendships from Miles Away

Did you move from out of state? Or maybe a couple of hours down south? You could even be from Austin, and all your friends left the city. Distance doesn’t kill friendships, but lack of effort and silence can. If you care about that one bestie who’s far away, the little “thinking of you” texts can go a long way. One of my best friends is from my childhood; in fact, we have been friends for 14 years now! We have not gone to school together ever since 3rd grade, but we have remained close throughout the years. Another one of my best friends is from high school, and we are still just as close as in senior summer. Does that mean we text every day? Not necessarily, but those are some of the friendships I hold closest to my heart. Even though we are all busy living our own lives, we will always be there for each other!

The key to maintaining long-distance friendships is to find ways to keep the connection strong without it feeling like a chore. These are some of the things I like to do:

• Spontaneous FaceTime dates! 20 minutes of catching up and laughing can go a long way!
• Don’t stress about response time! Genuine friendships don’t rely on constant communication- they can survive busy schedules!
• Send your girl a $10 Starbucks Gift Card! Okay, this one isn’t a necessity, but my best friend and I do this every once in a while, and it can brighten their day!
• Send random “this made me think of you” texts! A TikTok, a memory, or even just an encounter you had IRL that reminded you of them and sharing it with your bestie!

Friendships can go through change and still be meaningful and real. Whether you are building new connections here at UT, treasuring all the quality time you get to spend with your roommate, or putting in the effort to keep your long-distance besties close, friendships don’t have a guideline, so don’t stress! The key to friendship is communication, effort, and giving grace (it’s everyone’s first time living!). In the end, the friendships that grow alongside your life, not just around you,  are the ones that last!