Top 5 Pieces of Advice I’ve Heard in the Girls’ Bathroom

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Exeter chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

The most sacred and eventful room of the club… the girls’ bathroom. Pretty much the sanctuary and place of refuge from the war zone that is Fever Room 2. Here we see emotions, previously bubbling up on the dance floor, erupting as soon as the doors fly open, screams of ‘I can’t believe that just happened’, and the occasional unfortunate chun – a rite of passage that all true Fever warriors have endured. The girls’ bathroom demands collective female solidarity in the face of supercilious male egos and materialises fleeting friendships between those who enter. Below, I have detailed the 5 best pieces of advice that I have heard in the girls’ bathroom. Listen carefully…

1. LEAVE HIM!!!! – This is the most common and the most demanded piece of advice bouncing from girl to girl in the club bathroom. This blunt assertion is never yelled without justification and is ALWAYS deserved. It must be said, however, that there is a certain degree of irony to this exclamation. 9 times out of 10 the solidarity rallied from the women in the girls’ bathroom as they emphasise these two words, is soon met with shattering hypocrisy. Despite their empowering bathroom advice, these same girls also fall prey to the inevitable drunk magnetism, drawing them towards the most fluorescent red flags on the dance floor. There is a charming absurdity to the sincerity of their advice in the girls’ bathroom when it is met with the hypocrisy of their own actions that makes this particular piece of advice my favourite – I have played the role of both sides in this conversation!

2. Sober up, babe – Teetering on the edge of a disastrous hangover… we can still save you from the vodka crans girl. Swiftly exit top top and pop downstairs for a cup of water, but watch out for the mountain of stairs that reduces every girl that dares to climb down them after a tequila shot into a wobbly mess.

3. I fear that you need to go to bed – Past the point of salvation, stairs are a slide, legs are jelly. The only possible advice is to exit the club immediately and never look back. Maybe stopping briefly for an Efes or Taco Bell on the way ;)

4. Tie your hair up – Fever Monday’s always demand hair up, otherwise it will be pressed up against, and clinging onto the arms of sweaty men, dipped in venoms, and beginning to form dreadlocks as the night comes to a close.

5. Drunk words are sober thoughts – In the case of a risky text or a spontaneous hook-up, this advice always rings true. However, despite the recurring emphasis on this advice, it is never internalised, as we, once again, chalk our drunk actions up to ‘that last Jägerbomb’ or ‘the tequila shot that tipped me over the edge’. It’s ok, babe, I have disregarded this truth too. I think that most of the time, it is easier to practise delusion.

Whether you have been given this advice before, or are hearing it for the first time here, I think we can all agree that the girls’ bathroom is a source of comfort and rehabilitation for all that enter. I met some of my best friends in the girls’ bathroom, and I hope that it provides the same sense of continual positivity and empowerment that it does for me, for you!