“He Was Married The Whole Time”: 10 Situationship Horror Stories That’ll Haunt You

The Conjuring, Poltergeist, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: they’re all scary, sure, but those movies are child’s play compared to the horror of being in a situationship. Picture it: You like someone, maybe even really like someone (off to a terrifying start). You hang out romantically all the time, but it’s not a date, because calling it a date is too much commitment. They sleep over twice a week. You share intimate moments. You aren’t exclusive like an official relationship, but you’d be pissed if you saw them hooking up with someone else. And nobody knows where they stand, ever. It’s terrifying, it’s horrifying, and failure is almost inevitable. That is The Situationship. So inevitably, there are countless situationship horror stories.

Seriously, if any directors want to get in touch, this would make a killer scary movie. Situationships are a harsh reality of the modern dating scene. Very few enjoy it, but almost everyone ends up in one at some point. Because situationships live in the vague in-between space between friends with benefits and committed partners, there is a lot of room for screw ups. Here are 10 situationship horror stories that will spook you more than any horror movie.

Names have been changed for privacy. Interviews have been edited for clarity and length.

Kaylee, 20: “He said, ‘You should drop out of college and get your meds fixed.’”

“When I was understandably upset that he didn’t want a relationship, he said, ‘You should drop out of college and get your meds fixed.’”

Elle, 21: “We’re in the middle of hooking up when he casually tells me he’s about to ask out another girl.”

“I had been hooking up with this guy for months, and one night he asked me to come over. We’re in the middle of hooking up when he casually tells me he’s about to ask out another girl, so this is the last time we can hook up. I was just sitting there thinking Why am I even here? So I told him I was going home and had him call me an Uber. 

Once I got in the car, I started drunkenly venting to the driver about the whole situation. He goes, “Sounds like you need to smoke,” and before I can even respond, he turns off the Uber app, drives me to his house, locks me in the car, and comes back with the biggest blunt I’ve ever seen. He hotboxes the entire car while I’m stuck inside, so now I’m high and drunk. At that point, I started crying and begged him to just take me home. He finally did, but when we pulled up to my apartment, he said he was hungry and wanted to come inside. I told him he couldn’t park at my place, but that he could park across the street and I’d wait for him by the elevator. The second he drove off, I sprinted upstairs as fast as I could. To top it off, I asked my situationship to report the driver in the morning, and he refused.”

Sarah, 22: “He asked, ‘Would you let me eat your p*ssy?’ while we were playing 20 questions.”

“During the fourth date, he asked, ‘Would you let me eat your p*ssyy?’ while we were playing 20 questions. We were in public at a Mexican restaurant. He also asked if I had ever done anal, and if I wanted to sleep with him. He kept telling me to ask more ‘raunchy’ questions. It was unreal.” 

McCall, 23: “He also slut shamed me bc he was a virgin and pure.”

“This dude I was hooking up with would instigate everything. He was a full ROTC Catholic guy with really poorly done thigh tattoos. I had no intention of dating him, but he had the audacity to tell my cousin that he’d date me, ‘If my values lined up,’ because I was pro-choice and sucked his d*ck. He also sl*t shamed me because he was a virgin and ‘pure’ even though he’d done everything else.”

Lilli, 18: “I walked into a restaurant where they were having dinner together.”

“The guy I was seeing was downtown at the same time as me. I didn’t know he was there, but I walked by a parked car and looked over the ledge of the parking garage and swore that one of the people in the car next to me had crouched down. I just couldn’t tell bc the tint was so dark. I found out it was him and another girl downtown at night together. Another time, I walked into a restaurant where they were having dinner together.”

Bella, 20: “Full-sized beds lofted.”

“I was with a guy who lived in the most horrifying off-campus frat house to ever exist (holes in the wall, names drawn everywhere, etc). All the beds in this terrifying house were lofted: full-sized beds lofted. As a 20-year-old, almost graduate, seemingly self-respecting individual, I would climb into this lofted bed at least twice weekly. Couldn’t tell you why. We all make mistakes. He was also in the ROTC, which honestly says all anyone needs to know.”

Marlee, 23: “He gave me a key to his apartment completely out of the blue.”

“He told me he was hooking up with other people, but then told me I was ‘F*cking up his plans to be single.’ Then he gave me a key to his apartment completely out of the blue. He even told me I could have a drawer if I wanted! When I asked what he thought the key meant, he said he ‘didn’t want anything serious.’”

Diana, 22: “He joked about proposing with my own ring.”

“My situationship was making it super obvious he was into me and kept saying he wanted to take care of me. One night we drank with friends, and the entire night he kept telling me he loved me, that he’d been wanting to be with me for so long, that he’d cut other people off, and he even asked me to be his girlfriend. At one point, he joked about proposing with my own ring, but he was serious about everything else. The next morning, he called me ‘babe,’ and it felt like something real. A couple of days later, when I asked if he remembered, he just said, ‘Oh, I completely forgot. But don’t get me wrong, I had a great night.’”

Cass, 22: “He admitted he’d purposely left my wallet behind.”

“For spring break, my girlfriends and I booked one of those big college trips to Nassau. Coincidentally, it was the same trip my old situationship’s friend group had planned. We stopped in Fort Lauderdale first, which happened to be his hometown. That’s where disaster struck: I was pickpocketed and lost my entire wallet: ID, cash, everything. I flew to the Bahamas with nothing but my phone and passport, figuring it was a lost cause.

A day later, the Fort Lauderdale police called: someone had turned in my wallet, but they noted I had ‘quite a few IDs’ (I was under 21) — if I didn’t pick it up within 24 hours, they’d confiscate them. I begged friends and even offered strangers money to grab it. My situationship offered to have his sister pick it up for $50. Done. She left it at his house. After our trip, I asked if he’d bring it to me or if I should come get it. He said he’d deliver it… but then stayed home an extra week and a half, holding it hostage. When he finally returned, he admitted he’d purposely left my wallet behind so I’d have to come to his fraternity formal in Fort Lauderdale to retrieve it. I never agreed to go, and when I insisted he ship it, he guilt-tripped me, claiming his parents were grieving a family death and couldn’t help. I eventually got my wallet back, but I cut him off for good. Honestly, it’s hilarious in hindsight.”

Lizzie, 22: “I found out he was married the whole time.”

“I met this guy — an older guy, of course. He was in his early 40s. We dated for a while. We were together every day. We had a baby, and life was great. Then, suddenly, it’s not. Next thing you know, I found out he was married the whole time. And this was after we moved into an apartment together. I do not talk to or deal with him anymore.”

Sweaty palms? Increased heart rate? Uncontrollable shaking? Yeah, me too. Those situationships were terrifying.