STAYING TRUE TO YOURSELF

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UC Berkeley chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

My first semester at the University of California, Berkeley has officially begun. These past weeks have been a blur of adjustments, changing schedules, joining new clubs, meeting people from around the world, and exploring the various spaces around our beautiful campus. As just another face among the 45,000 students here, I’m certain I’m not alone in my fear of not finding my people or feeling like I don’t belong.

It’s quite peculiar, but as I ease my way into this overwhelming transition, far away from my home and friends in Japan, art has been my beacon of light. Even though I haven’t touched a paintbrush or drawn on a canvas for over a year, lessons I derived from art, more specifically from a special artist, keep me afloat. 

Since I was little, I’ve always immersed myself in the arts. Over the weekends, my triplet siblings and I would take our mini sketchbooks and walk over to one of the various museums scattered across Manhattan, whether it be the MOMA, the MET, or any other museum that piqued our interest that day. We’d take out our diverse collections of pencils and, for several hours, we’d explore wonderful exhibitions consisting of pieces from across time and geographical origins, drawing our favorite works to the best of our ability. As we perpetuated this practice through middle school and eventually high school, my love for the arts deepened, and I reinforced this blossoming passion by taking courses in art and music. 

Yet, with time came heightened comparison, and I was told over and over again by my peers that my skills didn’t match that of my siblings. Sure, my pieces were “better” than most, but “just look at my siblings’ pieces!” As my brother and sister continued picking up their paintbrushes and pencils, I averted my eyes and dropped my own tools, keeping them stored in my desk cabinet. 

In junior year of high school, I chose to stop taking art courses, and it was my first year ever without one. My siblings would come home with their beautiful art and would work on their pieces next to me in the living room. As they tediously perfected their compositions for their AP submission, I began missing art terribly, more and more with every glance I took. 

After a long school day, I walked with my sister to the art classroom because she needed to drop something off, and luckily I happened to run into Mr. S, our school’s art teacher. Since I stopped taking his classes, it was the first time we conversed in a long while.

After we said goodbyes and I boarded the school bus, I felt compelled to explain to him why I had stopped doing art. Throughout the long ride home, I worked on writing him an email detailing my struggle dealing with my peers’ words, as well as how I was focusing more on my love for biology and medicine. I woke up the next day to the most inspiring, heartfelt email I have ever received. 

Mr. S told me that as a teacher, he had always recognized my creative spirit. He wrote diligently about how comparisons can only be harmful, for they create a false metric against which we should measure ourselves, leaning too heavily into external factors. These beliefs form relatively early and once conceived, are difficult to let go of, as they undermine from within and threaten to resurface in the future as self doubt.

Mr. S wrote, “when we fall into the falsehood of measuring ourselves against others, or accepting others’ measurement of ourselves, we risk undervaluing our unique strengths and interests. These are the very things which make up who we really are.” 

Mr. S wrote, “when we fall into the falsehood of measuring ourselves against others, or accepting others’ measurement of ourselves, we risk undervaluing our unique strengths and interests. These are the very things which make up who we really are.” 

Specifically in art, comparisons extinguish creativity. It had left me unable to explore, test the waters, and further my skills. Such paralysis leads to the silencing of personal expression. As individuals allow worries of what others would say to blind them, they are prevented from relishing in and creating their own true voice.

Embracing what makes you happy in the face of comparisons is difficult, but Mr. S reiterated that it’s vital to stay true to yourself. If you don’t do so, you can become someone who undermines that truth in others. When social standards are allowed to dictate lives, a cycle of lost opportunities for happiness, joy, and appreciation will be perpetuated.

Mr. S’s sentence, “letting go of others’ opinions and focusing on the things that truly make you feel alive is a form of resilience—like picking up an interest in art again with no pressures, just love for creating” is something all of us, even the non-artists, can learn from.

Mr. S’s sentence, “letting go of others’ opinions and focusing on the things that truly make you feel alive is a form of resilience—like picking up an interest in art again with no pressures, just love for creating” is something all of us, even the non-artists, can learn from.

When comparisons are allowed to plague peoples’ minds, those individuals risk becoming too dependent on external validation. As a result, instead of pursuing something that genuinely provides fulfillment, one might feel pressured to chase something that’s perceived as good enough in the eyes of others.

Simultaneously accepting passions and respecting differences within our society allows for the most growth, opening up a world of wonderful possibilities. The people who are the most successful are those who truly pursue their passions and accept that self reflection is key. Choosing to privilege society’s materialistic values, instead of internal values, can only lead to limitations. 

Mr. S beautifully wrote that “our only measure of true worth is that of our own positive self perception, a constructive internal comparison of how we are today compared to yesterday so that we can enhance our continuous growth.” We should only look upon others if we’re encouraging their journey or learning from their example. The beauty of relationships that traverse differences is that they can create something bigger than just one person. 

After his brilliant words of wisdom, Mr. S then addressed the intersection of science and art, telling me that at their core, they both require boundless curiosity and creativity. The subjects overlap as they seek to transform and better humanity, which is a wonderful crossroads for anyone who also struggles reconciling what seem like two conflicting passions. 

He concluded the email telling me that if I pursue the things that bring my joy and fulfillment, expand on them and push myself more than I ever have, I’ll reach beyond my expectations. 

It’s inevitable that during my time at UC Berkeley, I and many others will succumb to the tides of comparison and feeling unworthy due to seemingly few job prospects, highly competitive research positions, and grades. In this bubble of bright, intellectual, and passionate minds, at one point or another I’ll feel like some sort of imposter.

In the face of these forthcomings, I strive to keep Mr. S’s words close to my heart. I’m hopeful that others will too. I’ll remain devoted to continue finding those things that really make me who I am, and to embrace the inner self that’s unique to me. My biggest goal this semester is to rekindle my passion for the arts, leaning into its intersection with medicine by creating art kits for hospitalized children. 

For anyone who has abandoned their interests or passions because of external words, whether it be from peers or family members, I hope that you feel inspired to pick up your soccer ball, instrument, art materials, sewing kits, or anything that brings you true happiness. You only live one life, so what’s the harm in doing what you love? 

Be you, try new things, and don’t be afraid of what others will tell you. Your strength derives from continuing even when you’re scared, because being comfortable will not get you far. Like Mr. S pointed out, anyone is always welcome to be creative, especially if it “sparks a little joy.”